I would recommend consulting an engineer. If you are fuzzy on what means what, notching is not a place you want to error. The previously mentioned references will also be of help. I would recommend really studying the topic before proceeding if you choose not to consult an engineer. It is clear that some fundamental engineering knowledge is absent in this case. For instance your comment, "Is this half the load of the bearing member? ie. 4x12 joist spanning 14' on 2' centers. Don't I compare the total load of bearing member divided in half since each end bears the load equally." shows that you don't understand simple loading of a beam. Each bearing does not necessarily carry half the load. Only in situations of symmetrical loading is this the case. This may come across a bit harsh, but if you don't understand the equations you are working with, then take the time to learn them, or consult someone who has.
