Here's my experience, but bear in mind that it's specific to Columbia county, Oregon.
When building my frame, there were three options that I could take:
1. Each peice had to be grade stamped.
2. The entire lumber order needed a "certificate of grade"
3. Or, once the structure was up, I could hire a certificed grader to come out and look at the structure in place.
The planer mills that I talked to offered grade stamping for free, however, the grade stamp may be left somewhere unsightly where extra sanding my be require to remove it.
I had first thought about hiring a grader, but what if a peice was graded lower (after the fact?) Plus, the fee was about 4x what I ended up doing, which was....
Paying a fee to get a certificate of grade when the timbers were at the planer mill. This provides documentation that can be used to show that the wood you're using is at the right specification. In my case I was fortunate that everything graded at Structural Select and #1.
FWIW...