I picked up the Oliver bandsaw that Logman pointed out. That'll do for now. Sorry to disappoint everyone. I guess I won't have any crazy stationary bandsaw wizardry to document. Thanks a lot for the input though.

I have an Oliver for sale. It's got very little use(two Projects) asking $1200. I used it to cut some 8x doug fir archs and it did the job. I can send pics if interested.